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Denmark Award winner running for his life

Published on Monday, July 28, 2008

 

Denmark Award winner running for his life

Ian Lawson of Seattle, Wash., has been named winner of the 2008 Michael Denmark Award presented by the CIGNA Falmouth Road Race.
Lawson was selected from among hundreds of candidates and was also a nominee in the CIGNA Falmouth Road Race Challenge Essay Contest last winter.
When he runs the race for the first time on Aug. 10 he says he “will savor each step of the way” along the seven-mile route from Woods Hole to Falmouth Heights.
The Denmark Award is presented each year to a runner in recognition of significant achievement in the face of extraordinary personal challenges, similar to those that characterized Michael Denmark’s life. The award was established in 1992 in honor of Denmark, a former Falmouth resident, who died at the age of 24. Despite a lifetime of battling cystic fibrosis, he was an active runner and competed on his high school and college cross country teams, and in the Falmouth Road Race.
“Michael never used his condition as an excuse,” said his father, Jay. “He was a spirited competitor and he never quit. This award is very important to us. It keeps Michael’s memory alive in the town he loved.” Lawson embodies all the characteristics that made Denmark an inspiration and why his legacy lives on through the prestigious honor bestowed by the race committee.
Four years ago, as Lawson describes it, his identity was stolen. It wasn’t that his bank account was hacked or his Social Security number pilfered. Those tangible items could be replaced. This was something much more personal.
“I lost a central piece of the ‘me’ puzzle,” he said. “A piece that had always been there, creating a very whole, very full picture. I lost my ability to run.”
Lawson was 23 at the time, a graduate of Hamilton College in Clinton, N.Y. He rowed on the crew team in college. He played football and lacrosse in high school. He had always enjoyed running. He liked the way it made him feel and how it helped him sort out the day and clear his mind. After one run in the fall of 2004 his right knee swelled. Not a big deal, he thought, probably just slight tweak that would go away with ice and rest. But it didn’t. The problem persisted.
Three months later he was facing surgery, and while the doctor promised he’d soon be back on the roads running, he wasn’t. There were many days when simply walking was a chore.
Lawson discovered he had a genetic condition – displacement of the patella (kneecap) in layman terms -- that caused his knees to swell. Several surgeries were required on both legs. The rehabilitation process was long and painful and running was absolutely out of the question.
“Like the pilot who no longer sees well enough to operate his plane or the surgeon whose hands inexplicably begin to tremor,” says Lawson of how he felt without running in his life.
“Even people I know who run regularly do not understand. ‘Hop in the pool,’ they say, ‘or ride the stationary bike.’” But running to Lawson was more than a way to stay fit. It was not a piece of what he was but rather who he was. And when he lost it, he was spiritually bankrupt.
He needed to run to nourish his soul, but his debilitated knees had grounded him. He felt empty.
The medical maladies, however, are only part of the challenges Lawson has faced in recent years.
On the morning of Oct. 3, 2000, at the start of his sophomore year at Hamilton College, Lawson awoke in his room on campus to find his roommate, Matthew “Houli” Houlihan dead. An undiagnosed heart defect had taken his best friend’s life during the night.
In the immediate aftermath of the sudden, shocking death, Lawson was part of the investigation. He was questioned by police and college officials because he was the last person with Houlihan. Soon cleared, that afternoon he retreated to the one thing he knew would help him cope with the tragedy. He ran. And ran.
“I laced an old pair of sneakers and ran until my lungs burned. I remember slogging through muddy ravines of the New York countryside until I collapsed somewhere under the cool drizzle. After a few hours, my head cleared.
“Upon my return to campus,” Lawson said, “I calmly called my mother, and then Houli’s mother, and told them what happened. I ran every chance I had that semester; daily if I could, sometimes more. I found relief – and my spiritual center -- in those runs. Some suggested I was running away from my problems, but I knew better. I was running toward a way to come to terms with my most devastating loss.”
Lawson continued to run after college. It always made him feel good, and it helped keep him connected to his buddy “Houli.” But when his body broke down and his knees failed, he was robbed of the sanctuary and solace he found on the roads and trails.
And then, still another emotional punch rocked him. In 2005 a friend of his (and Houlihan’s), Sean Donahue, was injured in a serious auto accident and left in a coma. “This was the person I sat next to at Houli’s funeral,” said Lawson. “This was the person who could understand how I felt, and maybe even why I ran. And now he was going to be taken away from me as well.”
With Donahue comatose for nearly three weeks, struggling to survive, Lawson was again reminded of the fragility of life and it put his own health problems into perspective. “I knew whatever was happening with my knee was minor compared to (my friend’s) situation. I promised to never again complain about something so small, and I knew I would trade all the runs in the world for his successful recovery.”
Donahue has recovered, and in doing so has helped Lawson heal as well. Watching him rebuild his life has inspired Lawson and, in a poignant way, has brought him back to those hours on the day when “Houli” passed in 2000. “I realized it was time for me to do something. I needed to sort through my sadness and shock about my two friends once again. I needed to run again.”
Lawson became more aggressive in seeking treatments and opinions for his knees. He found a specialist who offered a procedure that might help, though the recovery and rehabilitation would be long and difficult. He was willing to do whatever he could to get back that piece of the “me” puzzle.
His final operation was on Feb. 7, 2007. He first ran, for only five minutes on a treadmill, last December. “I was petrified,” he says, but I kept one image in mind: a picture Sean’s mother sent me of him doing pushups in his physical therapy. His strength became mine.”
“I now run several days a week,” says Lawson. “I limit myself to certain distances and times. I am confident I will run seven miles (in preparation for Falmouth) well before August.”
Lawson’s goal of running Falmouth has been inspired – there’s that word again — by his desire to support the Matthew Houlihan Foundation, which is based in Falmouth and where his family lives.
“On two occasions since his passing, I have stood with Houli’s parents and watched the runners gliding by. We all agreed how great it would be to run in Houli’s memory, and how the race would be a great opportunity for people to learn about his foundation. Now that I can run again, I want to seize the opportunity.”
The race will also be a chance for Lawson to reconnect with Sean Donahue, who lives in Ipswich and is running a little himself. He would love to have him join him on the roads, but while that is unlikely this year, his presence -- along with Houli’s Mom and Dad -- will be more than enough.
“Running is a funny thing,” said Lawson. “It is ultimately an independent pursuit. (But) I never feel alone on my runs, because I know Houli and Sean are there with me every time.
“I take a great deal of pride in overcoming a painful condition that almost ended by running life; the old adage of ‘running on your own two feet’ now holds special meaning for me. The lessons I have learned from running translate to life as a whole. Most of the time it really is as simple as putting one foot in front of the other, and continuing to believe your way through the rough spots.”
Sounds like something Michael Denmark would have said.